Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
