Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
