shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
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