I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
