If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Randomize
