It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
