Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Who died my cat blue again?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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