Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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