I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
