I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
