There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
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