The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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