I need help removing her.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
