I'm really into asian looking animals
I just pynch a tree in the face
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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