I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize