Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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