im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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