I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
