Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize