You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
