Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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