I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
