She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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