Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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