I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize