There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
ttyl tear gas
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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