she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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