Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
