Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
