She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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