i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
