too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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