Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
a search helicopter?!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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