If i come over, it means nothing
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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