adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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