Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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