I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
