yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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