Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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