And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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