Just cropdusted the office
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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