My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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