Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
