Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
