Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize