i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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