and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
