Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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