They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
There's always time for handjobs
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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