They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
