hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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