Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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