girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
