I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
