Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I checked into jail on foursquare
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
