I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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