i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
