I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I forgot how hot balto sounded
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
