ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
