Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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