I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
