i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
