grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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