Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
