I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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