It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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