You made me cry and you don't even care
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize