know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
