Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
MIDGETS
????
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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