it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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