Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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