I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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