Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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