he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
