i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
