I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
we should paint friendship bongs
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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