she woke up with a sticky ear
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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