i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Randomize
