I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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