You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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